a rose by any other name...

walking into dicks sporting goods and artist says 'dad, why did they name this store after a penis?'

peas and thank you

football: mom, what does cannibal mean?
me: it is when a human eats another human.
artist: *shrug* a human is meat too.
football: you'd make a good zombie.
artist: thanks. it would taste better than peas.

the stench in the back

on the way home after picking the boys up from hockey practice:
artist: it stinks back here. like really bad.
football: that smell is us.