i want *that*!

i asked artist what he wanted for christmas and he replied 'the filtrete water station. i really want *that*!' i seriously lol'ed. i guess someone has been brainwashed from watching tv commercials.

lunchable

we were talking about how it was a priviledge to get to eat lunch with the school principal and what good behavior was required for such a thing. football's brain was thinking much faster than his mouth could keep up and called the principal a 'lunchable'. we all cracked up. :)

don't tell me...

conversation overheard:

tasmanian devil: where's the hairbrush?
butterfly girl: in the bathroom where it is supposed to be.
tasmanian devil: don't tell me what to do!!!

skunk

artist took off his shoes after playing football and said 'oh no! i think there is a skunk in my feet!' :)

chatty

football and artist were really talkative on the way to school this morning and i commented on it. football replied 'i don't know everything yet so that is why i am chatty. you learn stuff when you talk a lot.' according to him, silence isn't golden. :)

i just did it yesterday

artist woke up crabby this morning and didn't want to go to school. he said 'why do i have to go to school again today? i just did it yesterday.' sooooo funny!

something i never thought i'd hear him say

artist lost his activity card and i was suggesting that he retrace his steps to find it. he said, 'no, it's in this cabin. i'm just not looking hard enough.' okay then, carry on.

drunk

our neighborhood had a picnic and there was lots of food there - watermelon, hotdogs, snocones. we left early but the boys stayed for a while.

when football came home, he said, "just so you know, i got drunk on snocones."

so funny!

bus

bfp said 'let's go! the bus is leaving!' football said 'bus? which bus? when did we buy a bus?'

lol. how cute that he thinks we would just go out and buy a bus. no reason, just buy a bus.

try harder

this is not a story about the boys but i thought it was amusing.

i have been trying to eat more 'clean' and healthy. bfp was eating a bag of cheddar chex mix and i grabbed a few. i lamented that junk food just didn't tastes as good anymore. bfp replied with 'you're just not trying hard enough'.

sorry honey, i'll try harder.

what kind of bad day?

we called my papa to share how the boys did at baseball today. football asked him how he was doing. papa replied that he was having a bad day.

football asked 'what kind of bad day? like not making a catch? or like striking out every time you bat?'

i love the simplicity of how he thinks.

heaven

my dad passed away and the boys were talking about heaven.

artist: i think heaven is like a party, with people talking and stuff.
football: i think it has lots of balloons cause that's where they end up when people let them go and that they serve cake to all the new people.

plus, a little gallow's humor. football was talking about cremation and called it disintegration instead. lol.

a little baseball family

artist told football that he wanted four more brothers to play baseball with - one for each base, a pitcher and a catcher. he'd even let them sleep in his room on the floor. :)

to exaggerate or to not exaggerate

my uncleinsurance is great at telling stories. they are 'tall tales' and they make you laugh. football was telling him about his baseball game and uncleinsurance was trying to help him make the story a bit more entertaining through exaggeration. football listened to him very seriously and nodded several times to show he was following along. when the lesson was over, football said 'thank you. but that's *not* what happened.' it made me smile because my son is such a truthful boy.

a happy sad

football asked 'why do all dogs look so sad?'
artist replied 'because they can't smile like we can.'

bizarrely, i think he might have gotten it right.

school is great, but...

we always tell the boys that school is their job.

when i picked them up from school today, i asked how it was and football replied 'school was great, but i think i would like to try a different job next year'.

:) um... no. sorry kid. you are stuck with this one for a while.

water drips

artist said 'i've never cried when i was happy before, but sometimes water drips from my eyes.' sorry son, but those 'water drips' are called tears. lol.

save your money

nana and i were talking about her getting braces. cost came up and she said that it was going to be around $10,000 because her insurance wouldn't cover it. football was eavesdropping and was amazed at the amount. 'nana, you should not get braces; they are too expensive. you should save your money and give it to me instead.'

hmmm, i'm not sure he understands the concept of saving. :)

medium

football got in trouble and was pouting a little bit. bfp asked him if he felt mad and football said 'no', so bfp asked him if he felt happy and football said 'no' again, so bfp asked him how he felt since he wasn't mad and he wasn't happy. football said 'i feel medium. you know, in the middle?' we both thought it was cute.

am i allergic to work?

football was picking up some toys and started sneezing. he said 'mom, do you think i am allergic to work?'

heehee.

brainiac

football said 'uproarious' this morning. he's in second grade. and it's not even 7:30 am. o.O wow!

snow day

artist: i'm too tired to get up. can i miss school this morning?

me: school was canceled because of the snow.

artist (springing out of bed): can i go watch cartoons?

little twerp. :)

sprinkles

artist hit his funny bone this morning and in between the tears said 'it sprinkles, it sprinkles so bad'. poor guy! i didn't have the heart to tell him the word is actually 'tingles'.

!!!

did you know the [!] is actually called the 'excited mark' instead of the 'exclamation point'? i didn't either until artist told me. :)

*cough, cough*

artist thinks we need to say something to acknowledge when a person coughs. he has come up with 'cough bless you'. :D

the problem with jump ropes...

football: mom, i need a new jump rope.

me: why?

football: this one likes to land on my neck when i jump too high.

me: *serious nod* okay. a new jump rope it is.
(after football leaves the room, *snicker* i wonder how many jump ropes are going to have the same problem?)

second grade inference

bfp to me: speaking of cheese, i have something for you.
(we were talking about cheese.)

football: hey mom, dad got you some cheese.

me: oh really? why do you think that?

football: i'm a second grader and know how to infer.
(bfp hands me some gourmet cheese.)

football: see? *exit*

yes!!! poop!

today was artist's turn to take the dog out after her meal to 'do her business'. he opened the door, the dog shot out and a few seconds later i hear the most excited 'yes!!! poop!' i've ever heard (um yes, with boys i do actually hear it more than you think). i guess he was pretty stoked that he didn't have to go outside with her. :D

mom, i need the chop stick...

both my boys call 'chapstick' chopstick. it is funny, but the best is when they say it's "because my lips are chopped". it makes me laugh every time.

the car-molds are gone

my family makes caramels from scratch for the holidays. it's tradition. hours go into this endeavor, but believe me, it's worth it. today, the last of the homemade caramels was eaten. we won't have them again until next year. both boys were saddened by this and met bfp at the door when he came home from work to tell him 'the car-molds are gone.'

the dog did it

i couldn't find artist this morning so i went looking for him. i found him in cocoa's kennel and asked him what he was doing.

"oh, cocoa locked me in so she could spend time with me."

huh. the dog might be smarter than i first thought. :)
***
later that morning he came up to me looking sad. i asked what was wrong.

"cocoa won't play with me. i have 'chomp' (a card game) all set up and she keeps walking away."

i tried to console him with "dogs don't like to play cards, honey." he looked at me with disdain and said "yes, they do. she's played with me before."

oooookay. i guess you really can teach a young dog new tricks.

one sock, two sock, red sock, blue sock

me: what are you doing?

artist (searching frantically): i can't find my lucky socks this morning.

me: are they the ones you currently have on your feet?

artist (sheepish): yep. thanks mom!


i don't know why, but i found this funny. :)

land-locked

football is excited for school tomorrow because they get to change their seating and he will no longer be 'girl-trapped'. rofl.